Rudy Yuan’s Streak oF BluE

It was the first time I attended evening safety meeting that day.

Like other safety meeting before the start of shift, the safety officer would address the crew about the main operation and the related safety precautions. Then the other high ranking crew members would also be given the chance to address the crew about operational stuffs and such.

It all started when the tool pusher gave his speech. (Tool pusher is one of the high rank members in the rig site, only below company man and rig superintendent, I guess).

He talked about operational for short 20 seconds, and then tried to elevate the mood of the crews against the near-term end of contract of the crews, and then he addressed one person personally. I guess this man was the new Assistant Driller (assistant driller is the rank after tool pusher and driller). The tool pusher said something like this to that person (In Indonesian, except for the word I type like this).

“Now you’re made the Assistant Driller, I hope you could help Driller and Tool pusher to manage all the crews. You are their hands in maintaining the work of the crew. You are authorized to give command to the other crew members so they all finish their work upon plan and agreement.”

I looked at the new Asst. Driller. He looked local. And he looked awkward being addressed directly in the group of people. I guess the Safety Officer caught that awkwardness as confusion. So he quickly jumped in, with a step forward. He pointed his finger critically toward that Asst. Driller and said with a condescending tone, “You understand? Do you understand the word “authorize”? You are now authorized. You know what that means?”

I didn’t see the reaction of the Asst. Driller, whether he shook his head or were just frozen by the intimidating Safety Officer accusing finger. All my attention was on the gesture made by the Safety Officer. Wow, how arrogant and how underestimating this man was. Although the Asst. Driller was a local and he looked all confused, the Safety Officer needed not put that man as a prey for his haughtiness, did he?

As my mind tried to find the Indonesian equivalent of the word “authorize”, the Safety Officer had continued talking (in heightened voice and pitch) with his own finding of what the word meant (oh I admired him he could get its translation into Indonesian so fast).

“Authorize itu artinya TANGGUNG JAWAB!! Now you have TANGGUNG JAWAB to your fellow crew members”

WTH? After the condescending tone, arrogant finger pointing, that intimidating stepping forward, and all, he translated AUTHORIZE to TANGGUNG JAWAB??? It was like when he was coming to a climax (yes, I mean sex climax), he did something stupid like his penis got paralyzed and went limp.

I could not hold my laugh, so I retreated to the backside and tried very hard to suppress it. What a shame. I’m not mocking one’s English ability, but I’m mocking the shamelessness of one person who mocked other’s English knowledge while he himself had a faulty one. Lesson taught: You should remove the beam from your eyes before you pull the mote in your brother’s eyes. Never judge and never underestimate, it could be a boomerang.

When I went back, I tried to search two different dictionaries before writing this (I was removing the probable beam from my eyes so I could remove the mote in that Safety Officer’s eyes), which both gave negative result of any equivalence between authorize and responsibility.

But if the Safety Officer had just watched the Spiderman movie, he might have said that intentionally. Authorize is to give power. And in the Spiderman movie, someone (the grandpa, probably?) said that with great power comes great responsibility. So that Safety Officer might have skipped the process of thought and came to the advise AUTHORIZATION = RESPONSIBILITY, which, by logic, is not entirely true. Authorization does not necessarily come with responsibility. But it always comes with a certain amount of power. Whether or not the power draws responsibility, it depends on the case.

The tool pusher had used the word “authorize” to encourage the new guy. Before, he was just an ordinary crew like his fellow friends. Now that he was Asst. Driller, he was given power to command his friends without the hesitation and the typical Asian culture of uneasiness towards fellow friends. But what the Safety Officer said about Responsibility, it surely added the burden of work to that man, not entirely too encouraging much. So by the power of god, I am AUTHORIZED (but without any responsibility yaa) to condemn the sok-tau act of the Safety Officer.

- END of AUTHORIZATION -

I like nature. I enjoy seeing trees and mountains, rivers and valleys, sea and the sky. I like seeing the mischievous monkeys and the shy deers.

But I’m not the kind of person who would dedicate my time living in the forest, or go camping a lot, or go trekking the mountains, or do forests exploration or cave expeditions. More even I’m not the kind who could go to the forest and feed the orangutans, communicate with spirits and snakes, lie on the bare earth of the forests, or make sex out in the bushes without any surface cover (hell, it has to come to dirty things, doesn’t it).

What I’m saying is, I love seeing nature, but not to the point that makes me want to hug, caress, show love, or marry them. Camping would be fine sometimes. Trekking is exciting. Backpacking to the deep mountains is challenging. But I’m not obsessed with it.

Okay okay, I’m not writing this to explain my affection to nature. It’s just to make clear that I’m not that much fans of the nature. Just a ordinary nature lover. The question is:

WHY THE H*LL THE TREES LOVE ME SO MUCH?

THEY JUST KEEP WANTING TO COME NEAR ME!

Now, you must begin to form the idea that I am crazy. I think I am too! But my friends insist I am not. (haha, it’s true, right, friends?)

EVENT 1:

When: Some time in the third year senior high school.

Place: My beloved hometown, Siantar.

(Some friends already know this. Be my witness.. :D)

I was driving my car full of friends inside (strangely I had no recollections whoever were in the car, except for Y*Y*, whom I remembered sat beside me in the front). It had rained heavily previously and then it went to drizzle as I drove past a lone street that night.

Well, further down the street, we met another car in the opposite lane. Its front lights were on. But it didn’t move, just standing still in the opposite lane of the street, like waiting for something.

Eventually coming to some distant away from it, I stopped too, wondering what that car was doing. After 30 seconds of awkwardness, I started to drive forward, thinking whoever inside that car had to be busy with something (maybe experimenting DiCaprio and Winslet scene in the Titanic: making the handprint on the fogged glass? Too bad they installed dark film on the glass…).

Not 5 seconds later, as I drove forward, there was a sound and then the vibrations. My car shook and I thought we were going to die that instant. Too bad I had just sinned something that day and hadn’t had the chance to repent…

Something fell down upon my car. The front window was blocked with something… Guess what..

YES! TREE BRANCHES! oh my gosh.

The first thing I thought when I was sure no one died was DAMN, I WAS SO FUCKED. THE CAR HAD TO BE DENTED BY THE IMPACT AND MY DAD’S GONNA SLASH ME APART. (Thank God even though my father looked GRIM and SCARY, he’s not that bad inside…).

And then the other car passed us by. DAMN. I could feel their laughter on my stupidity ringing in my ears. I forgot how we managed to get out of that thick leaves of branches that night. The dent still remained till today in the front hood of my car in Siantar..

EVENT 2: 

When: Today

Where: Somewhere in Seram Island

I was sleeping in my trailer camp this afternoon. So peaceful. The AC was blowing gently and the water dripped softly on the basin in the toilet. I was sure I was close to dreaming something nasty and pleasurable. I was waiting for the climax.

The Climax came in unexpected way. 

A shocking vibration rocked my trailer so hard. And also the horrible sound of something thumping the trailer, heavy and constant.

ARMAGEDDON ALREADY?? I thought. And then came the climax, again and again. NO LAH! I gotta be crazy to be climaxing at armageddon, though it would sound nastily sexy.

It lasted 5 seconds and when my head got clearer and made sure my Little Precious was still intact inside my pants, I got up. 

What was it? I asked my friend who was sleeping on the lower bunk (yes, I slept on the upper bunk, close to the ceiling).

Dunno. He said.

Landslide? Let’s try open the door. I said as I made my way down.

I noticed my helmet and decided to wear it. Better be safe. It’s a STUPID DECISION though.

As I opened the door, people were peeking out of the doors of their trailers, and more were standing some distant away at the alley. They laughed when they saw me. Of course! What do you expect? I was wearing shorts and oblong t-shirt, WITH RED SAFETY HELMET. Stupid town kid, I could read what they thought from the corner of their lips.

I acted cool, like I always did. Aloof. I AM cool. HAHA.

Then I noticed something protruding from the top of our trailer above the door. TREE BRANCHES! And thick ones. Apparently only my trailer got hit since it’s located on the edge of the camping site, close to the forest.

Oh my God, if it had smashed through the ceiling, I would surely be kissing the tree, literally, already. Imagine the tree was on top of me, like a lover making love, and its branches caressing all over my body. And I was sweating heavily, sweating blood. And my face was contorted in sheer pleasure. Damn, I could be dead!

So we are back at the question: why do the trees love to be close to me that much?? Who ever got hit close by the trees, TWICE? Lightning does not strike twice at the same place, but trees do?? Come on, Trees, I don’t really love you that much! Stop stalking me already!

I continued my sleep though, too bad without the sweet dream. And then there were people cleaning up the mess, I guess. So noisy I could imagine myself taking the chainsaw and killed them all. I need to sleep!!!!! I yelled. And of course only inside my head…

There were hundreds and thousands of trees along the way from the camp to the rigsite. And I passed it twice everyday. How many trees do you think are going to fall upon me if they can’t stop this crazy affection to me?? A lady killer is an honorable title among men, but tree killer?

AUTHOR CAUTION: RANDOM NUMBER IS A HOT TOPIC IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY, AND I ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT A BLOG ABOUT THAT. AND NOT RELATED IN ANY WAYS TO SCIENTIFIC WRITINGS!

A friend of mine (for the sake of secrecy, let’s call him by fake initial T, but you know I never actually use fake initial) had gone through a very weird situation several days ago (or is it weeks ago?).

A girl contacted him out of nowhere through SMS, who then asked for introduction. Somehow this horny, foolish, desperate, naive T (I couldn’t find appropriate adjective) responded. Well, for the sake of his own image, I was told by T himself that he responded quite cooly at first. Maybe sparked by recent development in the weird unsolved relationship he’d been through, T somehow lost all his cool and agreed for a blind date [cheap]. It was a quite desperate move, in my opinion, which he denied and regarded that as friendly respond, and simply to fulfill his sense of curiosity. Yeah, whatever.

Now, I couldn’t tell the story more specific as it was kind of blur to me too… Let’s say she sold herself cheap and T on the other hand was in no condition to afford for higher price (not talking about prostitution here. yet feel free to interpret that in any way). (now if T reads this, I’m so mutilated the next time we meet. I’ll seduce him with my body instead. Might work; have worked all the time before). 

How the story goes and how it ends have no concern on this blog topic. But how T was chosen is the thing I’m going to tell. 

Apparently, she keyed in a random XL number. RANDOMLY. 0817 bla bla bla. [Try it maybe you could ask for cheap date from T too]

T fetched her with taxi and they had a meal and a movie and they managed to do something pleasurable inside the theater! (you perv, what I mean is they had enjoyable movie lah!) 

You might think that the girl was not pretty, or else she wouldn’t be that cheap so lamely asking for a blind date. And you’re right! (Geez, you can’t make people wonder about endings these days, no wonder all the movies have become sucks to you).

But at least she’s not ugly either. T described her as bitchy [What's wrong with that? It's an advantage for ONS, right? (I prefer it as "One Night (full of) Sex" to the more commonly known "One Night Stand")].
She’s single (better, rite?), high school student (easily manipulated, fresh and ready, good for us too, right?).
T also later discovered that her main hobby was “to toy with guys” (WTH? Which part of us men you like to toy, lady?!) and she had ever been through suicidal phase before (okay, that was the time when T retreated and stored back all the flirting mechanism, I guess). 

Okay okay, sorry T. I said the story isn’t important but I can’t help my fingers typing them.

So that’s all supposed to be kept secret ya guys! 

BUT I wrote this not to gossip lah. It’s just a background check. This is the story.

I was in the front seat sitting with the driver on the way to site tonight. So our strained conversation was brought to the topic of marriage (’strained’ because I couldn’t discuss the topic of Electromagnetic Field with a driver right? Or the wave theory. Or the Chaos Theory.. What connects with them are things like Sex Theory. Sexposition Theory. Brawl. Drinks. Drinks and Sex Mutli Combo Move [popular discussion]. Even before I was born, my mind was not designed for that. My favorite book is the book where Max Planc described how he found the Max Planc constant [there is no such book, I think] and their favorite was the book about “Traditional Medicine to Make ‘It’ Last Longer” that is kept within their minds (superb memory) and updated weeks by weeks through oral discussions).

Long story short (too late?): I asked him how did he and his wife meet. 

He answered me, quite without any hint of embarass, “through sms”.

“OH my God! You can actually do that ar?!”

I DID NOT say that. I just yelled inside my mind. That is the advantage of reading the imaginary book of Max Planc. It makes you able to keep everything cool, and speak out what is wise and keep whatever not wise for yourself. [despite the fact the book never existed]

Well, then I thought, people could meet their mates through the internet, so why not SMS, right? [This is the second greatest advantage of reading the non-existent Max Planc book: you learn to accept ridiculous fact. It's called 'adaptive' and 'receptive']

So my next question brought me to: “But then how did you get her number in the first place?”

… Guess how …

OH DAMMIT, YOU GUESS THE ANSWER ALREADY TOO, RIGHT? This kind of new sophisticated and arrogant all-knowing mind is exactly what makes the movie producers so confused to make hard-to-guess endings! It’s so hard to write mysterious blog nowadays… [like I ever wrote one]

So yes, he replied, “I typed in random number, and it’s a girl, in Ambon. After two weeks of intense messaging, we managed to meet and get to know each other. We just married two months ago.”

This time I lost Max Planc coolness in my mind and actually said, “EEHHH? REALLY, SERIOUSLY AR?” (the capital letters do not mean I said it loudly, I just like the look of it haha).

I was kind of thinking.. ‘COOL hah this people’.

Well, if T managed to get one blind date in similar way, then this one was not an impossible, right? It’s just a bad luck for T to get a suicidal type. If the girl had been more like Paris Hilton (in the way that she’s willing to suck ‘banana’ and film it at the same time [banana juice is sucked with straw, right?? no dirty joke please, this blog is truly kid-UNfriendly], T might have lost his mind and gone ahead satisfying himself and MIGHT satisfy the maniacal Paris at the same time. [I emphasis on the word 'might' since he is probably unable to. LOL, peace T!]

So for my little bit sharp respond the driver looked back at me strangely with his big grin, like I WAS THE ONE WHO DOES SOMETHING STRANGE!

It was dark, luckily, or he’d be able to see my shocked face, which I thought as one of the best shocked feelings I had ever got. It was not the best shocked feeling that night as proven seconds later as he replied, “of course, people do it all the time here. Many people already got married that way.”

… [silent] …

PEOPLE DO IT ALL THE TIME THERE ARR!!

I got COMBO shocked within short period of my 15 minutes drive to the site!

So all this time I had been befriending wrong people during the 23.5 years of my life or else how could nobody ever tell me it was a common thing to do!? Is it the reason I’m still single right now!?!? CONFESS!

LOL

My Max Planc-filled mind tried to make the correlation to be more ‘receptive’:
Random Messaging is similar to Chating, right? We pick random nickname, chat, flirt, arrange to meet, and then go on or say bye bye later. And by chating, ALL people do it, so why not Random SMS?!

And then there’s also the story of how T’s friend met his girlfriend through online game, or of how R’s sister got to know her current husband through chating (now both live in the US), and of my other friend, and other, and other. ALL through chating. BUT NEVER had I heard one through RANDOM MESSAGING or moreover that IT HAS BEEN A WAY OF LIFE TO GET MARRIED BY RANDOM MESSAGING PEOPLE.

IT SOUNDS EXOTIC, I WANT TO TRY, RIGHT AWAY! LOL

But seriously talking, maybe random SMS would probably not be regarded as a approved way of getting date [though T might argue with that :D]. In chat rooms, our identity is easily concealed. But cell phone number is readily associated with its owner’s identity. People might don’t like sudden private intrusion like that. Trust is of course another issue as criminals using messaging service are getting more sophisticated and sly nowadays. 

BUT I can’t help wondering, HAVE I been kept blind from all the trend of Random SMS out there?????

WHY I AM STILL SINGLE HERE?? RANDOM NUMBER OWNER, here I come, be my SPOUSE, my long awaited ONS or whatever lover!

Wait for my flirt messages, guys! ERrrrrr, I mean, Girls!